Saturday, December 31, 2011

Let's Talk Resolutions!

As noted in Hilary's previous post, 2011 rocked for the Lemons! We married in April, and had a whirlwind eight months of matrimony. Now, 2012 is rearing its ugly glare, so it's time to make some resolutions!
Yea! Resolutions! A word synonymous with "failure to launch," "the gym's how far away?" "reading's hard!" and my personal favorite (I actually spelled favourite, but Blogger's spell check is not an anglophile) "What's a resolution?"
Now, we all know that the Internet is a place of certainty, and what's registered here is assured (my attempt at written wit). So, without further ado, a list of proverbial resolutions, with mid term goals to help me achieve:
Lose Some Weight: I went on record earlier tonight saying "Life's too short for diets." Not a good combination for slimming down. Since April, I've gained about thirty pounds. I first noticed a need to change when, as a joke, I shimmied for Hilary. And my man boobs (couldn't think of a more appropriate term. Leave suggestions in the comments) complied with the laws of physics! So, my goal is to lose 20-5 pounds this year.
-Mid term goals: Eat more vegetables and fruits than meat and dairy. This sounds easy, but I live in the heart of Texas. There's a barbecue shop at every corner, adjacent to the First Baptist Church. But, this is doable. A cautionary tale: Sauteeing green beans in butter, and sprinkling bacon salt on them does not count towards this goal. It's a delicious sham!
-Exercise: For the record, I hate the word exercise, in all its various definitions or functions. I don't like physical exercise, exercises in mathematics, or exercises in another, even funnier form. Maybe if I disguise it. I used to: it was called soccer, a delightful game which concealed a lot of running. I don't have time to take that up, but I think I can fool myself into running, by focusing on the scenery. That might do it: I'll get back to you on this.
Almost Finish My Masters Program: I finished the first semester of my Masters' program, and I have to say, I'm terrified. In the past four months, I have learned that I don't know anything. I feel like a fraud, that one day the professors and fellow students will discover my lower middle class heritage, and will banish me to working the What-a-Burger grill (a fate that will not help me lose weight: see above resolution). Yet, here I am, readying myself for round two. The goal is 33 hours, leaving the MA exam (written and oral), a creative writing class, and possibly a dissertation for Spring 2013.
-Present at Conferences: Something that will help me most in the "I'm not a fraud" category will be presenting at an academic conference. I have two abstracts ready and sent, but I will be checking out UPenn's CFP site for more opportunities. A side note: These conferences are not only chances to network and stay on the cutting edge of research, but I also can travel! Who wouldn't want to go to Ohio State for a hip hop conference, or Oxford for a video game symposium?
-Publish Something: I will be submitting poems, flash fictions, short stories, etc., with the hopes of seeing my name in print. I really need validation (I'm a narcissist like that). Another reason to attend those conferences is that I could possibly publish my paper in an academic journal. So, this goal means I'll be writing more in the upcoming months and years.
-Doctoral Programs: I need to find ten schools to apply for PhD programs. At the moment, I have these schools in mind: Michigan State, Wisconsin, Oregon, UT-Austin, Indiana, UNC, and UPenn. Most of these universities have an early deadline date, and I have to apply, in faith that I will be on track to getting my MA.
Other Goals:
-Spend an hour of quality time with Hilary: We see each other a lot, that Hilary and I. Yet, I feel the time we spend together could be better used. You know, instead of watching Hulu, we could have meaningful conversations, walks, or explorations of South-Central Texas.
-Explore South-Central Texas: Let's face, I already mentioned this. We are only in San Antonio for as long as my graduate program takes. After that, it's on to another school. Let's take advantage of this time. The weather works in our favor (air conditioning on Dec. 31?), so why not go to the Missions? Or see why Castroville has to offer?
Those questions will hopefully be answered in time, but Hilary is calling for me to go to bed. Happy New Year from the Lemons, and expect more from us in 2012 (barring meteors or Mayan calendars).


  1. I like the man boobs. Brian and I laughed out loud! So funny! Good luck with all of your resolutions!

  2. I can hardly imagine the skinny guy in Dr. Cronin's class with "manboobs"! You gave me a serious laugh. Exercise is the pits. I agree but if you want to be able to enjoy that Hilary of yours for a long time, you really need do to a bit of it. Happy New Year to you two!