Thursday, January 2, 2014

Dear Baby: December 21, 2013

Dear Baby,

13 weeks and 4 days pregnant, and the upchucking continues. I'm on Zofran again, but with Charlie's pregnancy that stuff was the magic bullet that kept my inside business in. This time around, not so much. Still puking two or three times a day. It's exhausting.

But I love you. Don't get the wrong impression. It's not like I'm going to hold my morning sickness over your head when you are a naughty teenager. WINK.

We are trying to teach your brother that you are inside me right now. Whenever we're snuggling as a family in bed or I'm stretching on the floor or lying on the couch, we point to my tummy and ask, "Is there a baby in there?"

Charlie invariably answers, "No." And shakes his head in vehement denial.

We went to see our family doctor a little over a week ago for my first OB check-up. We heard your heart beating like a little wild pony. (After we heard Charlie's heartbeat for the first time, Grandma said something along the lines of, "Doesn't it sound like a pony?" I don't know if it does but I think of tiny ponies thundering around when I hear fetal heartbeats now.) It took a while to find your heartbeat over mine, but we caught it eventually. It was so different than hearing Charlie's for the first time, your dad and I alone with that Elmer Fudd doctor and a nurse, gazing at one another in awe at this new life we were hearing for the first time.

It was hard to hear your heartbeat over Charlie's ruckus (he had had his checkup right before my appointment), but Dr. B. did find your heartbeat and your dad and I gave each other a look that meant, "Good, the baby is in there."

I find myself having a hard time celebrating my pregnancy this time around as much as I did with Charlie. It's not for not caring, but for not having the energy or the brainspace. Your dad and I are anxious to know if you are XX or XY. I can't help but think of all the boy stuff we already have, and how convenient another little boy would be, but I think your dad is longing for a daughter. We are excited either way. Not too many more weeks until we find out!

Love,

Your mom

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